


Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost (some are taking an extended walking holiday)

by Netgirl_y2k



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: F/F, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-06
Updated: 2014-09-06
Packaged: 2018-02-16 08:05:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2262156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Netgirl_y2k/pseuds/Netgirl_y2k
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started because Commander Vimes deputised Death to go to Überwald to investigate the kidnapping of a vampire noblewoman; something to do with Death being just the anthropomorphic personification to investigate the undead.</p><p>Death did not especially want to go to Überwald, so he deputised Susan to go in his place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost (some are taking an extended walking holiday)

It all started because Commander Vimes deputised Death to go to Überwald to investigate the kidnapping of a vampire noblewoman; something to do with Death being just the anthropomorphic personification to investigate the undead.

Death did not especially want to go to Überwald, so he deputised Susan to go in his place.

Susan worked with children, and she perfectly understood that forcing your offspring to do distasteful things in your place was half the reason for reproducing. But surely there ought to be an exception for grandchildren?

Captain Angua gave a helpless shrug when Susan asked _how_ exactly Commander Vimes had managed to deputise the skeletal anthropomorphic personification of death.

Susan’s grandfather gave an equally helpless, although bonier, shrug when she asked him the same question.

*

Travelling through the Überwaldian wilderness in the depths of winter with a werewolf reminded Susan disconcertingly of her time at the Quirm College for Young Ladies; so much so that she strongly considered replacing her scythe with a hockey stick.

"You don’t need much of an education to be a copper," said Angua. "All I have is a remedial puppy training certificate."

"Well, if they ever hit you with a hockey stick or rubbed your nose in something vile smelling, then it was much the same as private education."

*

The man was a badly broken nose with a body attached. He approached Susan and Angua and offered to share his bed with them; then he _insisted_ that they share his bed.

Susan couldn’t fault his bravery. They were unarmed, unaccompanied women in a tavern rough even by Überwald standards; they were either extremely dangerous, or so insane that it amounted to much the same thing.

Angua caught the man by the collar, dragged him down to eye level, and hissed something into his ear. He blanched, laughed nervously, and looked at Susan, at which point all the remaining colour drained from his face and he turned heel and fled.

Susan caught Angua’s eye, and the captain's grin was brief but positively _wolfish_.

*

It was exceptionally cold in Überwald; Angua slept in her fur coat, and Susan slept with her feet tucked underneath Angua’s furry flank.

It was not unpleasant… it was like having a hot water bottle that you were very conscious of the need not to kick.

*

The scythe was no good; Susan couldn’t get a good swing on it. Luckily she’d also packed her trusty poker, which hit the wolf with a satisfying thwack. The animal went flying with a yowl.

"Any relation?" she asked Angua.

"We can only hope," Angua said dryly.

*

That night, after Angua’s armor thudded onto the floor she didn’t bother to change into a wolf before crawling into bed with Susan.

It was, again, not unpleasant.

*

When they reached Bonk it quickly became apparent that Lady Margolotta had managed to rescue herself and did not require any assistance, thank you very much.

Susan’s grandfather had sent Binky along to offer Susan a lift home. She fed the horse a handful of sugar cubes, and then sent him back to her grandfather with a note saying thanks all the same, but she had decided to walk back to King’s Landing with Captain Angua; the fresh air and exercise and… _things_ would do her a world of good.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost (some are taking an extended walking holiday)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8911174) by [reena_jenkins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reena_jenkins/pseuds/reena_jenkins)




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